


Keksit

by gaemmel



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Modern AU, both of them are children, cookies and weirdness, fluffy and funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2018-11-13 20:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11192511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaemmel/pseuds/gaemmel
Summary: Emil makes a new friend... sort of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Oemelmuff's boy scout drawing. 
> 
> But the only thing *I* think of when I read the word "Keksit" is: Which country is threatening to leave the EU this time?! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Sometimes, when you get up in the morning, you can already feel that this day is going to be different. It’s not a feeling you get very often, and many people lose the ability to sense this later in life. It’s like a tingle, a prickling going down the back of your head.

Emil Västerström, ten and a half years old, still had this power.

At first, the day started as usual. He was woken up by his governess, he washed and dressed himself, he brushed his hair and his teeth. Then, he had breakfast alone with his governess, like on most mornings. Like on most mornings, it was orange juice and dark bread with cheese and tomatoes.

Until noon, the day continued as usual: He went into his study room, the teachers came and went. A little sport for warm-up first, then Swedish, then history, then biology. By the hour it was time for lunch, Emil had almost forgotten about the tingly feeling of speciality.

But as he said at the table in the eating room, alone again, while one of the maidens served potatoes and salmon, he saw him.

There was somebody on their lawn. Emil almost let his water glass glide out of his hand.

He stretched his head to see better. Yes, there was definitely someone on their front lawn. Sitting there, with their back turned to the house.

Emil’s neck hair stood on end. Now, this was exciting! He looked around. His governess had her lunch break separately from him (because she was a heavy smoker, she never was around for more than half an hour at a time. She was his favourite, even though she smelled horribly.)

But he couldn’t get away just now, one of the maidens would notice, and then they might think the stranger dangerous and send them away, or call the police. Emil had never actually seen the police before. That would be exciting, too, but not as exciting as getting to see the stranger up close!

Emil was assured that meeting someone who sat on other people’s lawns must be exciting. He strained his neck once again. The stranger was still sitting there. There were wearing something of a blue-ish colour, and they were kind of small…

Emil’s whole face went hot from excitement, his neck hair was actually itching now. Could it be someone his age?! He had to find out.

Lunch had never been this long before. Even though Emil ate as quickly as he could, his governess came back sooner than he thought and made him sit at the table a little longer, because she believed that his mother would be coming by for a few minutes soon. Emil wondered where she got that idea. His mother probably visited him at lunch once every two months.

After another ten minutes that felt like an eternity, she decided that his mother was not going to come after all, and allowed him twenty minutes of playtime before he was supposed to go back to studying.

Emil carefully stood up and tiptoed to the window, all casually, as if checking the weather. The stranger was still there.

“I’ll be outside in the garden for a while.” He said, looking out of the window that faced the backyard – the one where the stranger was not.

“Mhm.” His governess said, busy with her phone. So he went, feeling adventurous as he didn’t put on shoes as he stepped onto the lawn at the back of the house. From there, he could walk around the house to the front lawn and meet the stranger – if he made it to him before anyone else did.

Carefully, he walked around, the grass tickling his feet through his socks, and a chilly breeze brushing around him through his white dress shirt.

He looked around the corner of the house. There they were! Emil’s heart started thumping. It really seemed to be another child! He couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl for sure, though.

He carefully started to walk into their direction. He was still about ten meters away as the other child suddenly stood up and turned around to him. Emil startled. It was a boy.

About his age. Long, greyish hair, but not as long as his own. Huge eyes. And the most powerful stare Emil ever saw on another person.

“H-hey!” he said, continuing to walk over. The boy still stared at him, without ever blinking, it seemed.

“This is my lawn you’re sitting on.” Emil informed the other boy. That was technically incorrect, since it was the lawn of his parent’s, but Emil decided that wasn’t the message he wanted to get across.

“I saw you from the window.” He went on. No answer. He was close enough now and came to a halt. The other boy was taller than him, and wearing some kind of dark blue uniform. Next to his feet stood a cardboard box that was ripped open.

“My name is Emil.” Emil said as the boy still did not offer an answer or a reaction. “And who are you?”

The boy didn’t even look like he had recognized the question. Emil found himself uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Um, listen, I personally don’t mind you sitting here, but someone of the adults is going to see you sooner or later. So… uh.” Emil was at a loss of words. He looked down at the box. It said “Keksit”. Maybe… cookies? But this was not the Swedish word, but similar enough. Emil knew that other Scandinavian languages were similar to Swedish, he had recently learned that. So maybe the other boy was Norwegian? Or Danish?

“Are you lost?” he asked. Suddenly, the boy shook his head. Emil almost didn’t see it at first, it was a very small movement, nothing more than a little shake.

“Hey, you understand me! So why are you on our lawn?” Emil asked. The boy looked at him and seemed to consider for a while, when suddenly, the front door opened.

“Emil!” Emil looked around and saw his governess come out of the house. “Who is that?” she demanded to know, hiding a cigarette behind her skirt.

“I don’t know!” Emil called back. “He just sat on the lawn and I asked him who he is, but he doesn’t answer!” He looked back at the other boy just to make sure he didn’t suddenly want to talk now. He didn’t.

The governess came over the lawn and stood in front of them, staring at the stranger.

“Who are you?” she asked him. The boy stared at her and did not make a sound.

“I think he can’t talk.” Emil offered.

“Nonsense.” The governess said. “Who are you, boy?” she asked again, looking stern. “You are on private property, you can’t be here. The Västerströms will get very angry if they see you.”

No reaction.

“So, please leave, yes?” The governess said. No reaction.

She made a waving sound with her hand. “Leave, yes, do you understand? Good bye!” she was starting to get impatient. The other boy suddenly moved. He leaned down and reached into the cardboard box and brought a cookie forward. Then, he started nibbling on it, without ever breaking eye contact with the governess.

“What- Look, boy!” She went a step nearer to the strange boy, but he did not move an inch. “Leave or I will call the police.”

No reaction.

“Urgh, fine.” The governess said. “Emil, go inside. I will call the police.”

And with that, she turned around and walked back to the house, assuming that Emil would follow. As soon as she was gone, the blue eyes of the strange boy were all on Emil again. He found himself captivated by that stare.

“Um, she’s calling the police.” Emil informed the boy. “You don’t want to get in trouble, right?”

Instead of an answer, the boy reached into the box again and drew out another cookie.

Emil sighed.

“Um, okay, I’ll just go, okay? It was… um, nice meeting you? I guess? I wish you could talk, though.”

Reluctantly, Emil turned away and got back into the house. From the window, he stared at the stranger while his governess informed the police.

-

Ten minutes later, a police car parked in front of their house and two people in police uniforms, a man and a woman, left the car. Before Emil could go out, his governess was already on her way to greet them and lead them to the boy, who had resumed sitting on his spot. Emil trailed behind her, carefully, as to not get send back inside immediately.

“… and he has been here since at least half an hour now, I think. And he won’t talk!” his governess said.

The police woman got down on her knees in front of the strange boy.

“Hi.” She said to him white a bright smile. “My name is Ingrid, and what’s yours?”

No reaction.

“Hm.” The male police officer said. “Maybe he doesn’t speak Swedish?”

The woman suddenly saw the box next to him and tried grabbing it. A moment later, she drew her hand back with a shriek. The strange boy had scratched her!

“That was not very nice!” she said to him, checking her hand for a wound. She looked at the box from afar. “It looks Finnish.” She said.

Emil was sad he didn’t come to that conclusion.

It seemed no one of the present adults spoke Finnish, so there was no further attempt to talk to the boy any more.

“Well, what are we going to do with him?” the male officer asked.

“We can’t just leave him sitting there.”

“No, really.” The woman said, rolling her eyes. “We´ll take him with us.”

It turned out that this was impossible. As soon as the police officers tried to touch the boy, he went berserk. He shrieked and bit and scratched, and as he had finally wrenched himself free, he ran away a few meters, only to sit himself down under a bush at the other end of the garden.

“What is wrong with this child?!” The governess said, exasperated.

“Well, we have to find out where he’s from.” The lady officer said. “We’ll go and ask at the police department if a child has gone missing.”

While they were at their car talking to their headquarter, Emil went over to the strange boy and sat down at the lawn in front of him.

“Hey.” He said. The boy stared at him, still spooked. “Don’t be scared, it’s just me. Emil, remember? They don’t want anything bad, you know. They just wonder where your parents are.” He tried to explain.

When he suddenly got an answer, he almost shocked on his own breath. “They’re dead.” The boy said with a quiet, but determined voice.

“What?!” Emil shrieked.

“Dead? But… that’s terrible! Have they just died?” He got up and ran over to the adults.

“He told me his parents are dead!” he shrieked at them.

“EMIL!” his governess shrieked back. “Go back inside and leave the strange kid alone!”

“But he said his parents are dead!” Emil replied.

“Dead?” the male officer repeated.

“Yes!”

“How long have they been dead?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say!” Emil said.

“Well, ask him!” the male officer encouraged.

Emil ran back to the boy.

“They said I should ask you how long your parents are dead.” Emil said.

No reply.

Emil ran back to the adults.

“He doesn’t answer.” He reported.

“Tell him he needs to come with us.” The female officer said.

“Why doesn’t he just stay with us until you know more?” Emil asked back.

“Emil!” his governess chided.

“But he doesn’t want to go with them!” Emil protested. “Maybe he wants to go inside with us! He can sleep in my room, I have two spares!” he informed the officers, who couldn’t help but smile.

In the end, Emil got his way. The police car left with the promise to report back to the department and try to solve the puzzle about the weird Finnish boy on the Västerström’s front lawn.

Emil’s governess stomped back inside the house, sick of the whole situation and that she was stuck with explaining everything to Emil’s parents.

Emil went inside, but only for a brief moment. He got a blanket and a glass of orange juice and sat down opposite of the strange boy.

“Hey, I’m back. Do you want to tell me about your parents?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had all of this written down since a few days, but I just don't have the time to go over it again and make corrections right now. So I'll just blurt it out like this, and if you find any gross mistakes, tell me!   
> This is at least twice as long as my usual chapter length, but I didn't know where to make the exact cut, either.

By the time the sun was setting, Emil was not so sure if this had been a good idea. The glass that had previously contained orange juice was empty, and he had gone to refill it twice in the time that passed – the strange boy with the beautiful eyes had drunken each glass in almost one go.

Emil had never seen anyone drink an entire glass of orange juice like that. Like there was no one telling you to stop.

He had time to inspect the clothes the other one was wearing. It was some kind of Finnish uniform, blue and tidy, a jacket and matching pants.

But in all this time, the boy hadn’t talked even once. Instead, Emil had talked enough for the two of them. He had told the other one about everything he could think of. His life, his school subjects, the other kids he knew from the get-togethers his mother sometimes arranged for him. His governess and all their servants. He had even told him about his parents and how long they were married and the story of how they had met.

He had told him about his past-times: Playing the piano, about the books he liked to read, the one time he had played dress-up with a girl that lived two blocks away and who had invited him to come over and play when they met per chance through the fence of his parents’ villa.

And slowly, he was starting to lose hope. The whole time, the foreign boy had stared at Emil without ever seeming to get distracted, but Emil still wasn’t sure if the other one actually understood a word he said, if his Swedish was good enough for that.

What if “They are dead” is the only thing he could say in Swedish? What if the boy himself didn’t even know what he had said, maybe he had confused some words? Maybe it was just some sentence he had heard somewhere?

“It’s getting a little cold, don’t you think?” Emil asked after he had been quiet for a while.

He slowly stood up and looked down at the other boy.

“Do you want to come inside with me?” he asked, pointing first to the boy, then to the house. “It’s too cold to sleep outside.”

No reaction. Emil sighed. He stretched out his hand for the other one. “Come? Inside?” he asked.

Then, Emil almost couldn’t believe his eyes, the boy took it and used it to pull himself upright. Then, he reached down and collected the box of cookies he had with him the whole time.

“Oh my god, you understood me? Wow, cool. Okay, let’s go then.” Emil said, and gently, constantly looking at him from the side, he pulled the other boy inside the house. In the hallway, the other boy stopped walking and stared at the new environment. As Emil tried to release their hands, the other one wouldn’t let go of Emil’s hand, staring at him intensely.

“Oh, you want to keep holding hands? That’s okay, I guess.” Emil said and smiled at the other one.

“Um, anyone there?” he called out. Seconds later, his governess pistoned out of the kitchen.

“There you are!”

At her sight, the boy at Emil’s hand shivered and tried to step behind Emil.

“Um, I will show him my room, okay?” Emil said. “I think he likes me a little now.”

“Have you gotten a word out of him yet?” the governess asked, still annoyed.

Emil shook his head. His governess sighed.

“I’ll get you dinner upstairs.”

“Cool!” Emil said. He was usually never allowed to eat in his room. “Where are mom and dad?”

His governess sighed again. “They had to go on a sudden meeting to Oslo. They will be back tomorrow… I think. They told me they trust you to behave, even…” her voice trailed off as she gestured to the boy that was still clamping to Emil’s hand.

“Okay, then let’s go upstairs!” Emil said to the other boy and gently pulled him along, up two flights of stairs, until they had reached the set of rooms that belonged to Emil. The walls were a bright apricot here, which was Emil’s favourite colour, but the carpets were a lush green.

“Okay, so these are the rooms I told you about. To the left are the studying rooms, and to the right is the play room, the other play room, the room I don’t really use for anything, and my bed room.” Emil explained, pointing to each of the doors.

He looked at the other boy. He nodded. Emil smiled – he was getting responses, that must be a good sign.

“Let’s go in my bed room, okay?” he said, gently squeezing the other’s hand and leading him to the last door and opening it with his free hand.

Emil was a little proud when upon seeing his bedroom, the other boy’s eyes went as big as saucers. He had a huge, fluffy bed with a bedspread that had a splashy pattern that contained possibly every single colour you could think of, and over their heads, there was a blue sky made of fabric that stretched all over the bed. Next to it was a white night stand, and the window next to it was as large as an adult person and lead to a balcony (which door was locked, though, sadly). On the opposite side of the bed was the door to Emil’s walk-in wardrobe.

“Neat, huh?” Emil said.

The boy looked at him. And took a deep breath. And swallowed. “Is this… yours?” he asked in heavily accented Swedish.

Emil looked at him, dumbstruck for a moment. “Uh.” He made. “Yes!” he said then, and smiled brightly.

“So you can talk after all! And you speak Swedish?!” he asked.

The boy nodded carefully. Emil let out a little shriek.

“Why didn’t you say this earlier? I was trying to talk to you earlier all the time!”

The boy looked away and let go of Emil’s hand. “Sorry.” He mumbled, not looking at him.

“It’s…. okay?” Emil said, confused. “I am not angry. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t talk to me if you can talk Swedish.”

The boy walked a few steps into the room and looked out of the window, then he looked back at Emil.

“Sometimes I can’t.” he said. A pause. Emil came up next to him.

“That’s okay.” He said. He still didn’t understand, but he felt like it was not that bad.

“Why can you talk Swedish?” Emil asked.

The boy looked at him, and Emil stared back, and it felt like they were looking at each other for real for the first time. Emil was still confused by these huge, sad, soulful eyes that had been fixing him for the whole afternoon now.

“I learned it.” The other one simply answered. Emil nodded. He felt a little stupid for a moment.

“Oh, and what’s your name?” he asked.

“Lalli.” The other one answered.

“Huh. Lalli?” Emil repeated, letting the unfamiliar sound roll over his tongue. “So you are Finnish, right?” he asked on.

The other one nodded. Emil noticed a pattern: Lalli did talk, but only if he had to.

“And why are you here when you are Finnish?” Emil asked. He had heard of Finlandsvenska people from his teachers, but they had said that they weren’t that many in this area.

Lalli pointed at his uniform. “I’m a boy scout.” He said.

Emil was right about to ask what a boy scout was, when suddenly there was a knock on the door and a few things happened at once: There was shriek from Lalli’s direction and some quick movement, and when Emil turned around and the door opened, Lalli had vanished.

One of the maidens came in what a plate of food.

“Do you and your friend want to eat dinner, Emil?” the maid asked. Emil liked her, she had nice curly hair and was much friendlier than his governess.

“Yes, thanks. Just put it somewhere.” He dismissed her as he had always been used to do.

The maid carefully set the tablet on the bed. “Where is he?” she asked Emil, looking around.

“Um.” Emil said. “I think he hid somewhere. You scared him with your knocking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the maid said, looking around. “Do you hear me, little boy? I’m sorry!”

Emil waved. “Just go, please, I think he’s scared of people he doesn’t know.”

After the maid had left, looking a little confused, Emil went about searching for his strange friend. He had never met a person even remotely like Lalli before.

Finding Lalli wasn’t very hard – he was under the bed, lying flat on his stomach, staring up to Emil as he crouched in front of the bed. They stared at each other once more.

“It’s okay, she’s gone.” Emil said. “Are you hungry?”

A few moments later, the two boys sat on the bed together, and Emil watched as Lalli devoured his share of the dinner the maid had brought up. Apparently, they hadn’t been sure what to cook for a mute, Finnish, probably traumatized boy, so they went with mashed potatoes, peas and fish fingers.

Lalli swallowed it all in no time.

Emil, having been taught to eat slowly and with more grace, took his time. Watching Lalli right now was more interesting, anyway. The other boy did use a fork, but instead of holding it gracefully, he had his whole hand closed around it, like he was about to stab something with it. It proved difficult to eat peas like that.

Emil couldn’t help but wonder where the other boy had grown up, and if he had any parents at all.

“So, where do you live?” he asked when Lalli was almost through his dinner save for a few lonely peas.

“Keuruu.” Lalli answered, his eyes fixed on the task of stabbing the last peas to death with his fork.

“Where is Keuruu?” Emil asked.

“In Finland.” Lalli said, still not looking at him. Again, Emil felt a little stupid.

“And why are you here if you live in Finland?” Emil asked.

Finally, Lalli raised his head and fixed his eyes on Emil again. Everytime he did that, Emil felt like he was stabbed right in his heart. Lalli’s stare was intense, otherworldly.

“I am a boy scout. We are sometimes going to far-away places and do… stuff.” Lalli explained. Then, he shoved a single pea in his mouth with the fork.

“What’s a boy scout?” Emil asked. Lalli furrowed his brows.

“Kids can join them. My cousin is our leader. He takes us to the places we go. He teaches us how to make fires and grill food and build shelters out of sticks, and which plants you can eat outside.” Lalli explained, choosing his words carefully.

“Wow.” Emil was dumbstruck. He didn’t know what to say to this. There were kids running around in the woods making fires? And eating plants? How what that possible? Why did their parents let them do that?

“You can eat plants outside?” he asked, because it seemed the most pressing question right now.

Lalli looked at him as if he had said something very stupid. “Well, where else is the food supposed to come from?” he asked back.

“Well, I know that food grows outside!” Emil said, indignant. “But how can you eat plants that just grow in the forest without washing and cooking them?”

“Of course you need to wash them sometimes, and cook them.” Lalli gave back. “But the forest is full of food. If you know where to look. There are lingon berries and apples and mushrooms…”

Emil stared. Suddenly, he felt more caged than he had ever felt before.

“So your parents just let you go outside into the woods and drive to other countries?” he asked, feeling very left behind all of a sudden.

Lalli nodded. “But my parents are dead.” He said. “My aunt and uncle are my parents now. Kind of.”

He looked sad, putting down his fork and looking somewhere else for a while.

“I’m sorry about that.” Emil replied. He was sad, too, but for a different reason. For a minute, the boys didn’t talk.

“But… um.” Emil started again after a moment. “If you are with the boy scouts, why were you on our front lawn?”

“Because my cousin is a jerk.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Enjoy!

“Goodafternoonmadam, mynameisOnniHotakainenandIamlookingformylittlecousinhavyoumaybeseenasmallboythistallwhodoesn’tspeak?” Onni audibly gasped for air and continued to stare at the Swedish woman who stood in her own doorway with pleading eyes.

“Um, a boy you say? No, I’m sorry.” The woman said, shaking her head.

“Thank you, madam.” Onni said, hanging his head. “Sorry for the disturbance. Have a good day.”

“Good luck to you!” the woman said with pity in her eyes before closing the door.

Onni walked back onto the pavement, looking over the houses of the street with sad eyes. This was the third street, and this had taken him over an hour. How was he ever going to find Lalli?  
He got out his cell phone and called the police office, for the third time this afternoon.

“Hello?” a voice at the other end said.

“Yes, hello, here is Onni Hotakainen, again, and I wanted to ask if you maybe know something now?” Onni breathed out, his voice shaking.

“You are the person with the lost cousin, right?” The man said. Word had been going around in the police office that a crazy Finnish guy kept crying his eyes out over the phone in search for his little cousin since this morning.

“Yes!” Onni gasped.

“Let me see.” The man said, and said nothing for a moment. When he came back, Onni didn’t have time to ask again before he said: “We have good news. Apparently, they have found a Finnish boy in some people’s yard in Storagatan. If that’s your cousin, you could go pick him up, we left him there because he seemed to like the son of the house owner and bit one of my colleagues.”

“That’s him!” Onni blurted out. “If he bites, that’s definitely Lalli! Oh my god I’m so sorry that he bit somebody! Where is he?”

The police man gave him the address and the conversation ended. The address was a few kilometres from here, but Onni didn’t mind. It would give him the chance to dry his tears until he showed up at the strangers’ house.

-

The sun was slowly setting now. Emil lay in his bed, completely still, but he was wide-awake. How could he not be?

“Lalli?”

“Hmh?”

“Are you okay down there?” Emil asked.

“Hmh.” Lalli gave back. His voice was muffled, for it came from under the bed, the place where he had first hid in Emil’s room. He had decided he wanted to sleep there instead of on the mattress the maid had laid out for him, or even beside Emil in his bed, which was big enough to fit three children of their size comfortably.

“Can you breathe?” Emil asked.

“Yes.” Lalli answered, because there was no other answer to a question like that.

“Do you feel safer down there?” Emil asked.

“Yes.” Lalli said again.

“I always used to think that only monsters lived under beds.” Emil said. “When I was small, I mean. Were you scared of monsters?”

“No. There are no monsters.” Lalli answered firmly. A bit of silence. Emil admired the assurance in Lalli’s words.

“What are you scared of, then?” he asked. Since Lalli was hiding under the bed instead of sleeping on it, he must fear _something_.

“Death.” Lalli answered, with the graveness and darkness that only a 10 year old Finn could muster for a topic like that. Emil swallowed. Even the word made him uneasy. It promised dark thoughts and dangerous territory.

“My nanny says that children of our age should not be thinking about stuff like that.” He said, almost quoting the words of his caregiver. A short silence followed as Lalli pondered this.

“But what if you do it anyway?” he asked.

Now it was Emil’s time to think.

“I don’t know.” He said. “I guess sometimes you have to? Even though you shouldn’t?”

“Yeah.” Lalli said.

A longer silence this time, as each of them was lost in their own thoughts.

“Lalli?” Emil asked again.

“Hm?” Lalli gave back, sounding a little sleepier than before.

“Can I come down to you?” Emil asked.

“Sure.” Lalli responded calmly.

Emil gathered up his blanket and cushion and began crawling.

-

“Oh, yes, we are so glad you are coming for him!” Emil’s governess stood in the hallway of her employer’s house, talking to the teary-eyed Finnish man named Hotakainen.

“He was quite a handful, but that’s just them at this age, but I am sure he will be glad to be back in your arms!” she said, hurrying over to the staircase, the Finnish man right at her heels.

“I’m very very sorry to cause you so much trouble, madam, he’s a bit difficult, but usually he doesn’t do something like that, and…” all the way up the stairs, Onni rambled on, until he suddenly lifted his view away from the stairs and took in his surroundings. When he had approached the house, he had noticed somewhere in the back of his mind that these people seemed to be rich, but only now he realized that they were _rich._

His mouth formed a little O as he, now a little more slowly, followed the governess upstairs and then into a corridor.

She led him along a beautiful, wide corridor with lots of white doors, over a thick, fluffy carpet. Onni tried to make bigger steps so his shoes wouldn’t touch the carpet as much.

“We have sent them to bed, but I think it’s better if you take him home right away.” The governess said.

“Yes, yes, I also have to get back to my group, you see, I am leading a children’s scout group and we are currently camping in the area, and…” Onni stopped talking as he realized that the woman had no interest at all in what he was saying – and opened the door.

Behind it, Onni found the most expensive -looking bedroom he had ever seen. Everything was painted in pastel colours, and every piece of furniture looked like it cost more than what Onni’s parents earned in a month. He found himself yet again trying to avoid existing too much in this room, scared he might spoil the luxury all around him somehow. He felt neither dressed nor washed enough for this place.

The governess had no such inhibitions and walked right up to the huge bed at the left side of the room, only to find it empty. While Onni already expected another catastrophe, the governess just seemed exasperated.

“EMIL?!” she yelled.

One moment later, there was shuffling underneath the bed and the head of a blond boy about Lalli’s age looked up from under it.

“Oh, hello.” The boy called Emil said, looking somewhat sleepy and surprised.

“Why are you under the bed, you’re supposed to be asleep! And where is that Finnish boy?!” the governess asked.

“Lalli? Oh, he’s right here.” Emil said, only now noticing Onni a few meters apart at the door, giving him a suspicious look.

“But you can’t shout that much, he doesn’t like that.” Emil explained calmly.

“Well, he-“ the governess started, but Onni came before her. “Lalli is there?!” he asked, running up to the bed and throwing himself on his knees, peeking under. It was too dark to see anything clearly, but there was a second shadow huddled under some blankets there.

“Lalli, come out! It’s me, Onni!” Onni said.

“He said he won’t.” Emil told Onni, still eyeing him, except now from much closer.

“What?” Onni said.

“He told me earlier that you are mean and that he doesn’t want to come with you if you find him, which you did now. I said he can come live with me now because we have lots of space and he can go to school with me and we can play together every afternoon and maybe then-“

“Emil!” the governess now stepped in again, stopping her pupil. She leaned down where Onni was, too, staring Emil down.

“Lalli will not sleep here tonight, and he won’t live here either. Lalli has his own family and they are very worried for him, and they want him to come home. This here is Lalli’s brother, Anni, and he-“

“It’s Onni.” Onni said, but quietly. She didn’t hear him.

“and he will take Lalli back home, where he belongs. Isn’t that right?” The governess said, now looking at Onni.

“Yes.” Onni said. And then: “Lalli, please stop this. You can’t stay here, we need to go back to the camp. Tuuri is very worried. Look, I haven’t even phoned mom yet, nobody needs to know that this happened, okay?”

Finally, the shadow underneath the blankets was moving and coming closer, until Lalli was close to Emil, who had almost completely come out from under the bed.

“But I want to stay here with Emil.” He said in a very, very small voice.

“You can’t.” Onni said. “I’m responsible to keep you safe, and I can’t just leave you with strangers.” He sighed. “Hey. I love you, okay? And I am sorry I said those things earlier. They are all not true. I was just stressed, okay? Please.”

Lalli was not ready to move yet. “Can Emil come with us, then? I promised to show him what kind of plants you can eat in the forest.”

The governess and Onni looked at each other, neither of them sure what to say: The truth or the tactically best thing? Onni went for the latter.

“Of course. He will have to ask his parents, but maybe he can come visit us in a few days while we’re still in Sweden.”

Lalli looked at Emil. “Will you come visit?” he asked.

“Yes!” Emil said, grinning at the idea. “I bet mom and dad will let me visit, and then you can show me the plants and the trees and, and how to make fire, okay?”

Lalli nodded and began to make his way out from under the bed. Onni and the governess finally stood up, both sighing with relief.

“Sorry again.” Onni said.

“No one was harmed.” The governess answered politely. The little procession – the governess ahead, close behind Onni with Lalli’s hand in his, and right beside Lalli, Emil in his pyjamas – made their way back down to the door.

“Sorry I can’t live with you.” Lalli whispered, like it was somehow his fault.

“It’s okay.” Emil said. “We can be friends anyway. We can come visit each other, and if we ask our parents before, they won’t make so much fuss about it next time.”

Lalli nodded. At the door, Onni was eager to leave, unlike Lalli. For a moment, the two boys stood in front of each other, as if they wanted to take in the sight of their new friend for one last time.

“Byebye.” Emil said, looking sad.

“Goodbye.” Lalli said, looking even more sad. Then, he stepped forward and gave Emil a big hug, which Emil gladly returned.

Even the governess looked at least a little moved at that, while Onni’s eyes almost fell out. Lalli had never done this to any other child before! This was truly a strange evening.

Then, it was time to go.

“See you really soon!” Emil yelled after them, waving. Even though his friend was leaving, his heart sang, and he didn’t even know why.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I'm back with this! I hope there's still a few people on board after like... gosh, a year? I'm so terrible at writing regularly.  
> From here on out, it starts getting slightly shippy between the two, so if that pisses you off, maybe you shouldn't keep reading. But there are no explicitly shippy actions, just two lonely idiots mooning over each other.

It was probably the hottest day of the year. Beaten down and tired from the heat, Lalli Hotakainen walked around the city centre of Örebro. He spent a few weeks of every almost every summer of his life here, but this year sure was to be the hottest he’d ever witnessed.

The city was almost empty of people, the constant heat of the past few weeks had made everyone retreat to their flats or to Hjälmaren as often as possible. Apart from a few people eating ice cream and making shopping trips, the streets were empty. Lalli liked it like that. The past few weeks, he had spent almost every waking minute with Onni, Tuuri and the twenty-two Finnish brats they were in charge of. He had hated every second of it.

And why all that? Only to get another chance to come here.

Sighing, Lalli looked around the commercial street. Blond Swedes of all shapes and sizes everywhere, but He was surely not going to be there.

 _Maybe you should face reality already and stop this_ , Lalli thought. _You aren’t going to find him per chance by just by coming here for two weeks every summer._ _This is all just stupid._

And in theory, he knew that. He had known for years. But it didn’t stop him from doing it anyway. His aunt and uncle and his cousins of course were glad he came along. Two more pairs of eyes and ears that watched out while the bratty children of the Scout Club of Saimaa Lake ran through the forest, howling and scaring away every living creature within a five-kilometre range.

But looking at these streets, even if he never found the one he was looking for, had become a quality time of its own. It reminded him of those few magic hours almost ten years ago, in the house of some rich Swedish boy he remembered almost nothing about, except that his name was Emil and that he had beautiful blond hair. How safe he had felt talking to Emil under his bed, playing with him. How much he had wanted – and how much they had both believed, even if only for an hour – that he could escape his cousin and just come live with Emil.

Lalli had spent so much time thinking about Emil that his memory of him had become distorted, the pictures in his head had been looked at so often that they had begun to tatter at the edges. Half of the time, he wasn’t even sure if his memory was real, or if he was thinking of a dream he had, or something he had thought up years ago already and just integrated into his idea of what it had been like to have a friend.

Also, there was the huge problem that Lalli had no idea what Emil was supposed to look like. Puberty must have hit Emil just the way it did with him, for all he knew, he could have a huge chin and be two meters tall now. Or weigh a hundred kilograms. He could have shaved off all that beautiful hair. He could have moved to America. Nothing was certain that Emil was even still in Örebro, and if he was, there was no way to identify him.

All these things combined, Lalli had long ago stopped actually expecting to meet his old childhood acquaintance. But old habits die hard, and yet here he was, every summer again.

Finally, too tired to walk on, Lalli sat down on a bench that was enjoying a bit of shade thanks to a tree. He observed all the people that went past, eating ice cream, and every time he saw a guy his age with blond long hair, and that was more often than you would expect, his heart lurched a little.

-

Emil quickened his pace. He had never felt comfortable walking around the woods alone – he was just not used to it. When he was younger, he never did something like that. He wanted to like it, he really did, but his parents… Oh, screw them. If they hadn’t forbidden him to visit Lalli that one time, he wouldn’t be here right now!

Two years ago, Emil had tried finding Lalli for the first time for real. After a search on Facebook and a shoutout on Instagram hadn’t worked out, he had tried to google the boy scout club Lalli had told him about back then, but there was no way to find it without knowing which city Lalli lived in. Finding out where boy scout groups from abroad usually made camp in Örebro had been way easier. Calling there and asking when the next scout group would be in had been awkward, but successful.

Emil sighed and carefully stepped over a thick branch that had the gall to lie in his way. And now he was going to go there. Three days ago, a boy scout group from “somewhere in Finland” should have arrived there. Emil had wanted to go earlier, but he just … didn’t dare. Everything about this was scary. Picking an outfit had been hard. What did you wear to reunite with a boy you hadn’t seen in almost ten years, who you remembered almost nothing about? Someone who you had thought about meeting so often that meeting them in person would most likely crush all your expectations?

Emil’s heart started to beat so fast he almost wanted to run away. He forced himself to think about that pair of grey eyes he remembered so well. And he walked on.

He knew it was silly to nurse a crush on someone you had met before you even thought about things like that. He knew full well that he hadn’t fallen in love with a real person, the real Lalli, but with an idealisation, a fairy-tale boy with grey eyes and the softest of smiles. That boy probably didn’t exist.

There was no logical way to explain why he had thought about him so much over the last years. Except for one, sad truth: For as long as he could remember, Emil had been lonely. It turned out that having parents who had you homeschooled could buy you a lot of stuff. But what they couldn’t buy you was the experience in how to approach other people to make friends – and that was that Emil lacked terribly, at an age where everybody else was out doing all kinds of cool stuff with their school friends (or so Emil expected).

He forced himself to breathe. There was the parking lot. He walked over the gravel, getting slower and slower as he approached the fencing that separated the parking area from the camp. There were a lot of tents… and a lot of noise. Even from a distance, he could hear children shouting. A thought, heavy as rock, made his heart sink: Lalli was too old for the boy scouts now. He was around Emil’s age, wasn’t he? That means he was either eighteen or nineteen now as well. Why would he still visit Sweden through a boy scouting group? With his age, he was probably spending his summer in Estonia, drinking himself unconscious, or maybe he was couch surfing in London, or maybe…

Emil had arrived at the gates. He looked through the forest of tents and saw a man, about twenty meters away. He was hard to make out in the distance, but there was one thing Emil saw: his hair had just that colour.

“Hello!” Emil called over in English. The man looked in his direction and frowned, then turned back around.

“Excuse me!” Emil called again. The man turned around again and then looked left and right, as if Emil could mean anyone else. Then he faced Emil.

“Yes?!” he called back in the same language, seemingly not willing to come over. Emil sighed and opened the gate. Now, the man quickly walked towards him.

“Can I help?” The man yelled while still coming over. It sounded rather like “Piss off” the way he said it, and he had a thick Finnish accent. As soon as he was in proper sight, Emil realized that his guy couldn’t be Lalli. He was maybe in his thirties and much stouter and more thickset than Lalli could ever have grown, with his stick-like limbs that he had back then.

“Um, I’m looking for someone.” Emil began. “I am looking for … Lalli?” He was almost too scared to say the name.

“Lalli?” The man replied, eyeing Emil suspiciously. The way he pronounced the name was a bit different than Emil did, and that fact alone was enough to make Emil panic even more.

Before he could say something else, the man spoke again. “Swedish?”

“Uh, yeah?” Emil replied, not sure if the man was referring to his own nationality or the language.

“God, thank goodness.” The man said, now in Swedish – which was still easily recognizable as a Finno-Swedish accent, which made everything sound kind of flat and a bit pessimistic. It fit the face the man was making.

“How do you know Lalli?” He asked.

“Ugh.” Emil said. “You know him?”

The man nodded. “I’m his cousin. Onni.”

Cousin?! Emil felt like he was going to faint any second. He had found Lalli’s cousin? Could it be…

“It’s you!” Emil suddenly realized. “You picked him up!”

“What?” the man now seemed almost ready to give up on him completely. Emil tried to remind himself that from Onni’s perspective, he was probably talking complete nonsense.

“I… I’m Emil! One time, like years ago, Lalli came to my house. I mean, he ran off and he ended up on our front lawn and he-“

“You!” Onni said. It didn’t sound hostile, just extremely surprised.

“Yeah! Me!” Emil said with a nervous giggle. “I… I never got to meet him again. Lalli. Is he- is he here? With you?”

Onni nodded. “He’s out in town right now.” He still seemed heavily surprised to see Emil here. “He will come back in a while.”

“A while.” Emil nodded. This was it. Lalli was in Örebro. He would see him. In a while.

“You want to wait for him?” Onni asked. Emil nodded.

“Sure.” Onni said – but then, turned around and went back into the camp. Emil was confused as he watched Onni depart, until he saw how some of the screaming children came over to Onni and spoke to him. Then, it dawned on him: Just like back then, Onni oversaw the children here. He had work to do.

Emil went along the fence until he found the gate and let himself into the camp and walked along the rows of tents. Most of them seemed to belong to just random campers, further back were some parked caravans. But where Onni was standing was a little town of tents on its own, with children swarming all about, mostly playing or sitting around in groups. Two were preparing a fire in the middle of the camp in a designated spot. Emil stayed back a bit, not wanting to disturb. He watched Onni gave orders to children, helped making fire and scolded a group of screaming younger ones – for being too loud, Emil presumed, but he couldn’t be too sure, since all of it was happening in Finnish.

Emil stood there for a long time. Eventually, he pulled out his phone to distract himself, only to find that the internet was really slow this far into the forest. And since his whatsapp was dead, there was nothing to do but scroll through his Instagram feed for the fourth time today. After about 20 minutes – Onni was still busy with the children around him, apparently everyone was getting ready for dinner – Emil sat down on the grass and tried to busy himself with observing everything around him. After another ten minutes, he almost felt like dozing off at his sunny spot in the low afternoon sun. His dozing was brought to a quick end when a six-year-old that ran past fell over his outstretched leg and yelled something rude in Finnish at Emil before running off to let Onni bandage him. After that, Emil was too nervous again to think about dozing any longer. He began pacing the lengths of the camp, his nervous feet took him all the way around the camp, past the caravans, into the small brick house on one far side that contained a few showers and toilets and really disgusting looking dining room with old wooden chairs and a dirty table that nobody seemed to use. After Emil made his way back after a second lap around the camp, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a tall man stand next to Onni. He was thin as a stick and had the exact same hair colour as Onni.

Emil’s heart pounded so hard he thought the might die. His breath almost got stuck in his throat. Onni and the man were speaking to each other, and Emil forced his feet forward, closer to them. Then, they both turned around.

Emil almost stumbled. It was really him. He was tall, taller than Emil, and his grey-blond hair was long at the sides and shaggy. He was thin and had sharp features. Emil had always imagined his face to be softer. This Lalli, the real Lalli, had high cheekbones that gave his face a sharp, thin look. His stare was intense, even from afar. Emil walked closer. And closer. Then, Lalli started to walk too, slowly. It seemed like an eternity until they finally stood in front of each other.

And all Emil could think was: Fuck, he’s beautiful.

“H-hi.” He said. Lalli said nothing. He just stared.

“I.” Emil began. To his surprised, Lalli nodded.

“I?” Emil said again. “I’m Emil.” He finally managed.

“Emil.” Lalli said. His voice was dark and sinister, but quiet. Soft, in a way.

“I have been looking for you.” Lalli said. “I was sad you never came to visit.”

“…” Emil had trouble comprehending all of this was really happening. “Me too.” He said. “My- my parents never allowed me to come.”

Lalli nodded, as in understanding. “I have always wondered why.” He said. He looks at Emil.

“You look exactly the way you used to. But you grew.” He observed. Emil laughed nervously. He had no idea what to say. “You look different, and you’re hot”, was probably not the way to go here.

“I- I’m so glad we finally meet.” Emil managed to say. “I always wanted that. To meet you again.”

Lalli nods. “Me too.”

Emil smiled. “Really?”

Lalli nodded again. “I often thought how it would have been to be friends with you. Which is weird, because we met a really long time ago.”

Emil said: “But I had the same thoughts. Like, I was also thinking about that.”

Now, Lalli looked Emil in the face for the first time proper. Emil was surprised to find that his Lalli’s eyes haven’t changed – they were still this intense, mysterious grey from a long time ago. But the moment didn’t last.  

For a moment, there was a silence between them that Emil found almost unbearable, until Lalli said: “Do you want to go somewhere else? I don’t like how my cousin is watching us talk.”

“S-sure!” Emil stammered, and as soon as he said that, Lalli lead the way out of the camp and into the forest. Emil jogged two steps to keep up with him.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“Somewhere where we can talk without anybody watching.” Lalli replied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure if this is the end yet. Might be, might be not?


End file.
